Earthquakes.

I grew up in Southern California, and as part of my upbringing, earthquakes, the talk of, the experience of, and preparing for them was quite normal. In school we'd have earthquake drills (get under your desk, cover your head, and put your ass towards the window), and in elementary school, every year we were asked to bring in an "earthquake kit." A giant ziplock baggie that contained shelf-stable food, juice/water and snacks. At home you were supposed to have an AM/FM radio that was battery operated or wind-up, flashlight/batteries, a store of food and water, blankets and a first aid kit. It was all par for the course.

Thankfully, while I have experienced my share of earthquakes, none was ever terribly horrible. I was never at the epicenter of such an episode and at the most got jolted, but was never in any real danger. I remember some earthquakes being large enough to wake me, but not worrisome enough to get out of bed. Some were big loud rumbles that shook the whole house then rocked you side-to-side while standing in a doorway, others were little tremors that made you stop, look around, register that something was happening, and then go about your business.

Big Red and I are, as you know by now, preparing for our own life earthquake - one that should be arriving in the next 3.5 weeks, give or take. Hopefully it's "take," cause I'm about done with this gestation business. And quit with your, Hmmm, it doesn't look as though you've dropped yet, and the, I don't think you want her to come any earlier than necessary, she's much easier to take care of while in there, or the, get your sleep now while you can! Once again, thanks for your ill-timed unsolicited remarks. I'd like to punch you all square in the teeth. As for the OVERLY USED "get sleep now" commentary, guess what - I can't get sleep now even if I wanted to. I'm uncomfortable. Sleeping through the night is a long gone affair. Frankly, I'll be more practiced at NOT getting sleep than if I could still sleep through the night, so shove it biotches. And shut up.

Anyhow, back to our life earthquake. When we get home, we are fully expecting things to be wonky and I'm definitely guessing neither one of us will want to get in the kitchen and cook. No way. So in order to prepare our own earthquake survival kit, and for all the million aftershocks, I've been on a cooking spree. The last couple of weeks I've been putting together and cooking freezer meals. Today was my last day of preparation and I feel good about what I've stocked, some of which I made double batches:

• Veggie Lasagna
• Stuffed Pepper Soup
• Turkey Burgers
• Chicken Enchiladas
• Black Bean & Corn Soup
• Million Dollar Spaghetti
• Beef & Broccoli

Not only did I include the meals above, but I also made two trays of ready to pop in the oven apple crisp. Meals are important, but so is appealing to the sweet tooth! I even went as far as typing up a list of all the stocked meals, how to defrost and cook/reheat and what we may need to add along with each. That has been printed and posted on the fridge so that when Big Red reaches in to grab something, it'll be clear what to do.

It'll be hard to stay away from those apple crisps, but I won't allow myself to give in on behalf of Future Mom Me, because I know when we're beat ass tired, and all we want to do is have a home cooked meal, I'll also be grateful there's a dessert as well.

In other recent news, last week we toured the hospital where I'll be delivering. We got to see the triage rooms (step 1: early labor), the labor/delivery rooms (step 2: active labor and delivery), and the post-natal rooms (step 3: recovery). The labor/delivery rooms were surprisingly spacious and we were both impressed. I will admit seeing those rooms did make me a little nervous; I had a moment of oh shit, this is really going to happen - we're going to be in one of these soon.  I'm glad we did the tour though, as now we know exactly where to go and what to expect. I think it would have been more unnerving to be in labor for the first time in my life and not have seen those surroundings before.

One thing I'm going to do my best with, given everything goes without any major hiccups, is labor at home for as long as I can. The Midwives have told us that a good rule of thumb as to when to come to the hospital (again, so long everything is fine and after speaking with them on the phone) is known as 4-1-1: contractions that are four minutes apart, lasting at least a minute and consistently happening for an hour. Our birth class instructor followed up with the same advice, and also made the point that home is where we are most comfortable, and statistics show that once you arrive at the hospital labor can slow down due to the unfamiliar environment.

Really though, we need some luck on our side. I'm determined, we've done our homework and learned relaxation/breathing techniques, I have a tremendous support system in Big Red, but the last component is luck. Let's hope this little gal brings us the luck we need for the delivery we're hoping for.