Big Girl Room

My Sweet Lucille,

Today is officially the first day of spring, and tonight, for the first time, you will sleep in your "big white bed." Friday afternoon, we shipped you off to Grandma's so that I could have time to refresh what was once your nursery and transform it into a room befitting of the toddler you have become. Despite the months of scouring Etsy, shopping sales, and snagging pieces for this project, I was, once again, wholly unprepared for the emotional force with which I would be hit.

My mama heart ached Thursday night, the last time I would lay you down in the crib that you've slept in since we brought you home from the hospital. I choked up on the phone with your Dad when I spoke to him Friday evening, letting him know it would only be appropriately ceremonious that he be the one to take down the crib he'd assembled. My friend, Britt, remarked of this milestone that, "one of the greatest gifts of motherhood is the ability to notice the significance of these moments." Rest assured that every single one of these leaves an indelible mark.

The experience of dismantling the nursery I'd spent hours putting together, was cathartic. Necessary, even. Each piece I removed from the walls was purgative. Every hole patched and sanded was a reminder that, "Nothing gold can stay." I teared up. I was present. I allowed myself to feel all the feels. For as much as I want to freeze every stage of your life, to keep you gold for a little while longer, this life of yours, is growing. And with each milestone achieved, my mama heart aches with the realization that you were never really mine. You belong to yourself, and it is simply my incredibly fortunate privilege to be your mother.

This big girl room is a reflection of the marvelous little girl you've become. While you still wear pull-ups at night, for all intents and purposes, you are potty trained. This past fall you visited the dentist for the first time and got an excellent oral bill of health. You continue to love to dance and "twirl." Winter, this time around, was much kinder to you, and it appears as though what everyone told us - that business about immune systems being built in the fires of those first two winters - was right. There were a few ear infections, and a mild case of walking pneumonia, but as a whole, you were generally a healthy kid during these historically trying months. You still LOVE to swing on the swings, play with chalk on the sidewalk, and read. Read, read, read, all day long. Your imagination, Lucille, is incredible. I could listen to the tales you spin, endlessly.

Then there's Wonder Woman. Perhaps this was some of my doing; even so, you've taken on your adoration for the warrior princes of the Amazons. And I'm okay with that - winky smiley face.

Redecorating your room involved using some of the pieces that already existed such as your Wonder Woman tin and clock; I just enhanced what was there. You see, Lucille, you're still the same spirit you were the day you were born, and this refreshed room, reflects that sentiment. Those long feet we all marveled at, are the very same, and now the ones that take you sprinting down hills and leaping off rocks.

When you come home today and see your new room for the first time, I hope you love it. I hope it provides for you the space to play, to explore, to flourish. I hope we stockpile another cache of memories within these walls.

Taking down that crib was a forever goodbye to the final vestige of your babyhood. Because you are my one and only, every first is the last first, and every last is the last. And just when it feels as though my mama heart can't bear the hurt of one more landmark crossed, I'm bolstered by the little voice that is yours, when now, nightly, you must say, I love you, Mommy. Sweet dreams, Mommy.

In a few weeks you will be 2.5 years old.

You are "my best girl," my sugar cookie, my captivating chaos, my queen of all wild things, my beautiful mess. Loving you is a dazzling adventure. Welcome to your big girl room, Lucille.

The Nursery & The Bump

Perfectly cozy & colorful. I can't wait to bring her home!

Maternity Photography: Horseshoe Hill Photography, 26.5 week baby girl bump.

OCD.

Happy Saturday Morning. Today's edition of Glass Half Full is brought to you by the sweet mollifying melody of rain. It's been downright daggone hot in the Steel City. For the past several days it was as if we'd skipped spring altogether and been thrust into summer. Lambent blue skies and 80 degree weather. We even broke a record high that had been in place since the 40s. The rain is a welcome respite from the heat, and perfectly sets both mood and tone for today's project.

The title of this entry is twofold:

1. Yes, OCD is referring to the traditional take on the acronym. Sometimes I refer to myself as Monica Geller after Courtney Cox's character on the 90s show, "Friends." I am somewhat comically obsessed with keeping neat and organized. Living by the philosophy that everything has its place is comforting. I enjoy lists and being able to check off items pleases me to no end. I use the term OCD here as more of a tongue-in-cheek reference; while I enjoy cataloging and orderliness, I realize the true disorder is no joke.

2. I'm creating my own OCD acronym: Organizing Circulating Dinners. In my recent efforts to get and remain healthy, I've revamped my menus and have amassed a sundry of dinners. Using my cookbooks, recipes passed along from friends and the glorious phenomenon known as Pinterest, I now have somewhere near 50 recipes. No kidding. And I keep collecting more and more.

I've been able to get all meals listed in a Word document. The next step is to take a trip to Staples and pick up some large note cards. I'm getting three different colors; each meal will be categorized as one of the following: vegan, vegetarian, conventional. Ideally, each card will give the name of the meal, list ingredients and directions, and give nutritional information. I don't plan on getting it all done today - I don't have nutritional information for everything, but intend to add the information as I make the meals for which that info is missing. Once each card is finished, it will get laminated, I'll punch a hole in the corner, and then put it on a metal ring. Imagine a key chain of quick to access meals with all pertinent information. Easy quick menu planning makes my little heart sing!

Speaking of little, I've added another 2.4 lbs. to my weight loss, putting me at -22.4 lbs. I keep on keep'n on and am sticking strong with my workouts. As I sipped my once-a-week mug of coffee this morning, Big Red and I caught an infomercial for Insanity. Um, there are no words. It really does look insane. I'm not quite ready to take on Insanity and will happily remain with my P90X for the time being. Perhaps Insanity will be the next step?

Big Red has also hopped on the healthy train. The week that has just ended was the first of two that Big Red has off in the interim between jobs. He ate a revised and healthier breakfast and had for lunch whatever I took. He dropped 4 lbs. this week. He's going to continue to follow in my footsteps again this coming week and reports that he's feeling good. And of course that make me feel good. I'll be more than happy to quit buying Pop Tarts and crap-filled hot dogs. He's even tried to lay off the coffee a bit, a well-known Big Red vice.

Happy 4 days into Spring 2012.


ps: Big Red is also making big progress on the small bathroom renovation. Drywall is up, second coat of mud is up. We're buying primer, paint, and tiles this weekend. :)

Thanks.

First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving.

It's nearly 8 am, and I'm the only one up this early. Which is kind of ridiculous since I'm not even cooking anything today. There's a thick scarf of fog outside and the grass has been painted white with frost. When I let Olive outside this morning, I skipped the slippers, and my feet nearly burned from the chill of the concrete. Can you say, "winter?"

I haven't been around this blog lately, mostly because I haven't had much to write about. I guess that's a good thing in some respects. The biggest news as of lately is that I had an essay published on page 2 of the newspaper. It's the closest I've ever gotten to page 1. I received some lovely responses from readers, but the best response was a phone call from an 86 year-old man. He said he'd been the very first principal of one of the oldest high schools in our district. He told me he also took my same approach with students. He then said he was a little mad that he hadn't written the essay himself, as he saw it from his own voice. It was a tremendous compliment.

Big Red continues to slowly make progress on the bathroom downstairs. The walls have been insulated, the plumbing has been worked out. The next big step is to install the shower. We might even get to that today before heading over to his mom's house for dinner! He's also been making great progress on his personal happiness. I wrote about it some time ago, how he'd been struggling, and while I didn't outline all his daemons - those are his to share, I will say he has found himself in a much brighter space. There is a lightness about him that had been absent. His smile has returned and he's been able to tolerate work in a way that doesn't seem to drag him down.

As for me, a door may have opened for an opportunity to photograph a wedding - a small wedding. Just the groom and his fiance and whomever marries them. In all actuality, it would probably be more like an engagement session. While the simple utterance of the phrase photograph a wedding makes me want to turn and run, this scenario isn't the typical one. The couple may decide to go with someone else, and that's all well and good. I honestly don't know if I'd choose me either. In the email to the groom I basically laid out my current skills, my current equipment - one camera and one lens. Not so much to scare him off, but just to make sure all expectations are super-duper clear. But if they do choose me, I'll be grateful for the opportunity to continue working on my photography and for being the person who gets to document their special day. I'll let you know what happens.

I am grateful for a job in this very volatile economic climate, especially in my school district where a measure just passed to close several schools therefore cutting 400 jobs. Yes, 400 - and I still have my job. I am grateful for my students and their willingness to let me be me in the classroom.

As silly as it may sound I am grateful for having had the means to purchase my camera - a little piece of wondrous technology that allows me to have fun, express myself and record tiny slices of peoples' lives, as well as mine.

I am most grateful for modern medicine and its ability to bring smiles back on sad faces.

There is so much to be grateful for this morning, and every morning, really. To list them all would seem cliche.

Student taken photograph of me at my desk.

I love and I am loved. For this, I am most thankful.

Renovation Project #3: Small Bathroom.

Shower stall with  ugly blue tile removed.

When Big Red and I bought our 1963 ranch in February of 2010, we knew we were getting a solid little house. We also knew we'd need to give it some updating. Neither one of us is afraid to tackle remodeling jobs; we're your regular weekend warriors.

Since the close on the house a year and a half ago, we've completed the renovation of our kitchen and the finishing of our basement. The last two major indoor projects are the bathrooms. We have two full baths, one downstairs in the finished basement, aka the family room, and one on the main floor. The one on the main floor is going to have to be a complete demo down to the studs. That's going to be a biggie. Before we launch into the remodel of the big bathroom, the little one downstairs needs to be given a face lift, as it will serve as our only working toilet and shower while the big one is torn up.

Stall with drywall gone, and pan busted up!

Project: Small Bathroom Face Lift began yesterday! This weekend's goal was to complete the demo and it looks like Big Red will be hitting his target. The two major points of our face lift will be a new shower stall and a new window. The shower stall will no doubt prove to be the biggest challenge. In fact, Big Red is on his way back to Home Depot to return the mini jackhammer he rented. It was necessary to bust up the old concrete shower pan. There will be some adjusting of the plumbing, but nothing too major. We're going to install a prefabricated shower stall. It seems the most economical and least annoying way to go. We considered tiling, but decided against it. There may be a short tile border around the top edge of the stall, but that's it. The existing toilet and sink will remain, the walls will get a coat of paint, and we'll run the moisture resistant laminate from the family room right into the bathroom for a seamless transition.

I'm confident we can do this face lift for $1,000. The shower stall and the window will be the bulk of the expense, but the rest of the materials should be marginal.

Here we go. Again.

Laundry Room Makeover

At the end of May I made a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish this summer. I wrote about my fear of it passing and not having anything to show for it. I wanted this summer to be productive. Of the 14 items on my list, I'm confident that I've fulfilled 10 of them. The most recent of which I crossed off my list today: pretty up the laundry area.

We don't have a dedicated laundry room in our house, but more along the lines of a laundry niche housed in our storage room (the room between our finished basement and the garage). It was ugly and it bothered me. The cinder block walls were painted a pasty green and it was dirty from years of use:

It sorely needed a face lift. Yesterday I hit the pavement and went to Home Depot to pick out some paint. I was tempted by colors in the purple family, but I couldn't bring myself to chose one. I settled on a bold and bright turquoise-blue called "Jamaican Sea."  When I got home I immediately got to work. My plan was to get the first coat up and then make a valance for the window. I had some leftover fabric from earlier projects, so I turned to my remnants and settled on a fun paisley print:

It didn't bother me that there was no hint of Jamaican Sea in the print, as this laundry niche was supposed to be bright and cheery. The more colors the merry!  While the first coat was drying I managed to bang out the valance in about forty-five minutes.

This morning, after walking Olive, I finished up the niche throwing on a second coat, hanging the valance and adding some small potted plants to the window. I am satisfied with the transformation:

I found an old Borax advertisement on a tin via eBay and it should arrive by the end of the week. I have a couple other kitschy items to hang, but that'll be about it. It's just one corner of our storage room and it doesn't necessarily make me want to do multiple loads of laundry, but at least when I do it will be a fun and cheery space.

As for the four remaining items on my summer to-do list:

• Use my yoga pass purchased on Groupon. I have to activate it by October. I've revised my start month to September. I work really close to the yoga studio, so I plan on taking classes after work.
• Write every day. I just haven't. No excuses, just haven't. Although - I am writing MUCH MORE than I was during the school year. 
• Listen to This American Life. Have the podcasts on my iPod, just don't think to listen to them. I'd rather pick up a book and read. 
• Rethink & revise wardrobe. Will be doing that before the start of the school year in a few weeks.

And life continues.

writing & craft room

My writing & craft room is complete. I enjoyed making it over and I love being in the room even more. Although the curtains were a novice sewing project, I'm happy with how they turned out. The next task I'd like to conquer on the sewing machine: zippers. I think I'm going to try and make pillows with removable covers. I see gorgeous pillows everywhere and I nearly vomit when I see how much the cost.

Virginia Woolf once titled an essay: A Room of One's Own. Women need their own spaces. This room is mine. It's mine alone in which to be quite, to be creative and reflect. I expect that as my life becomes more complicated (read: family life), I'll want, more than ever, a space of mine own.

My room.

Pretty, pretty pink and green curtains.

Writing space; I made over the chair! It was garbage left on the sidewalk, now perfectly usable.

Accessories. 

Craft area. The slipcover was something I created and sewed (hides an old desk).

     Cork board re-purposed. Old picture frame spray painted white, and fabric over the cork.

Bookshelf storage: books, fabric, sewing supplies. The bookshelf was a cheap find - only $30. It's a tad rickety and I fear for how long it may/may not last.

Sewing machine all folded up becomes a display table with antique typewriter, some books, a framed California postcard, and the machine's manual. 

     Representing my roots.

summer lovin'

There are just 31 physical days left between me and the sweet toe stretch of summer.  Of those 31, just 17 require me to be an active teacher.  Every year, around this particular time of year, I begin to create lists of things I want to get accomplished during the summer.  Goals, if you will.  My fear is always that the summer will pass and I’ll have nothing to show for it.  Last summer was all about Olive and pure indulgent laziness—although I did do a fitness boot camp.  Long hours spent lounging and watching the entire Sex and the City television series.  While it was genuinely wonderful to while away the hours, I’d like to be just a tad more productive this time around.

So, in keeping with my Type-A nature, and my need to make lists and cross items off, here is my “To Do” list for the summer:

• Take Olive on many, many leisurely walks.
• Do yoga!  This is a new one for me.  I bought a pass off of the ingenious Groupon website for unlimited use of a yoga studio.  I can take as many or as few classes as my little heart desires in the month of my choice.  My choice is July.
• Finish my writing/craft room.
• Pretty up the laundry area.  The cinder block walls are an ugly pale green.  I have visions of purple, and I’d even like to go as far as painting the outside of the utility sink.  Maybe add some flowers and butterflies...
• Eat well. Now, before you go an exhale with an eye roll, I’d like to make the case that it’s never to late to get back on the healthy train.  I had a relapse this last month, but have gotten it back together. I want to use the summer and all the yummy fruits available to me to get myself square and plumb when it comes to food.
• Enjoy my elliptical machine.  That’s an easy one!
• Seek out and try new recipes.
• Seek out new music.
•  Listen to more This American Life podcasts…or better yet, catch it live!
•  Take one trip.  It doesn't have to be big, and it probably won’t be.  I’m thinking something along the lines of Amish country. Maybe a couple of nights at an Amish run B&B.  I’d love to find an Amish made rocking chair that can be used, someday, in a nursery...
• Read, read, read, and read some more.  I believe there are roughly 12-15 books I have purchased over the course of the school year that are patiently waiting my devouring eyes.
• Rethink and revise my wardrobe.  The recent lbs. I have shed and the ones I’m planning on shedding will allow me to perk up my clothes. Don’t need nuthin' fancy, but I definitely would like to inject a little more femininity and cuteness into my choices. 
• Watch movies. I’m such a movie watcher. Thank god for Netflix.
• Write.  I’m going to attempt to make it a point to write every single day.  Be it for five minutes or fifty.

For as much as my job can frustrate the living hell out of me, I am grateful for this imminent time off to reconnect with myself and catch my proverbial teacher breath.  The more years I teach (this is the end of year no. 7), I realize how important summer is in the life of an educator.  For 10 months we’re expected to be ON.  What most people can’t grasp is that teaching is not all about just teaching.  If it were, then maybe summer might not be so critically necessary.  But teaching, real teaching, is just one small tiny component of our daily lives. We are master jugglers tending to ten million issues at once.  The respite summer brings, really and truly, is necessary.  We are systems overloaded by June, and when we leave our classrooms for the peace and quiet of July and August, that is our shutdown and quiet time, the rebooting necessary to come back in September, bright-eyed and willing to jump into the trenches once again.